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Podcast on the Fat-Burning Man Show with Paleo Rockstar Abel James Bascom

This week I was enormously honored to be the guest on Abel James’s show, Fat Burning Man: Real Food, Real Results.

I first met Abel at AHS this past weekend, but he and I had begun scheming just days beforehand, hoping to bring even more life to the discussion of sex-specific differences to diet and health.  I was blown away by the depth of his earnestness and the strength of his passion and practices, though running in circles like the AHS crowd I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.

In all cases, it’s a big honor to work with him, and I recommend checking out his site if you’re looking for discussions of all things paleo, weight-loss, etc.  You understand.  His show kicks ass, you kick ass.  You’ll probably get along well together.

In the show we talk about fasting, of course, the healthiest and easiest ways for women to lose weight, lessons on self-love learned from living in the wilderness, the whole notion of an “ideal” body, and some of the most important and efficacious ways to get over body image issues.



So, just as a heads up - some links above may be my affiliate links, which means I get a small commission if you click on it and make a purchase. Doing so is no additional cost to you, but helps me tremendously. Your support is SO greatly appreciated, so thank you in advance if you choose to do so. Check out my entire disclosure to know exactly how things work.

Managing director of Paleo for Women and author of Sexy by Nature.


  1. Oh my gosh, I think Abel is awesome and of course, I think you’re my hero…so I almost can’t even wait to hear this!! Thank you for putting your voice out there, you are such a positive energy in this community! One love 🙂

  2. This was so wonderful, and perfect timing for me as I am accepting my body and what it needs to be after many years with an eating disorder. All I can think is no matter how I restricted carbs/calories or overcompensated with exercises, it always evens out. I swung way low, and am now paying the price at a higher weight with no period. Or now that I have been approved for exercise, the longer I ‘run’ (or HIIT or push myself through weights) the more I want to nap, the less I want to be at work and engage with other people. The more ravenous I am.
    So now I’m just moving if and when I feel like it, which is actually rarely (I’m at month 4 of ‘screw it just eat-carby Paleo-and rest’). And it’s hard with the added weight. I was always just a thicker girl. So this podcast really helps me remember to focus on how I feel and function as a woman, as much as I hate it right now. Thank you!
    This helped too, saw it today: http://news.yahoo.com/video/mirror-free-bride-080000264.html

  3. This was a great conversation. Having influenced quite a number of people towards Paleo by my own success, I sometimes think it will be automatically easy and beneficial for everyone as it has been for me. I enjoyed hearing your perspective and appreciated how beautifully you articulate it. I’ll certainly be referring female friends to your site. I am apparently widely ignorant on many aspects of this but happy being exposed as a result of Abel’s podcast.

    • Wow, Jon. What an honor, thank you.

  4. Finally – for every reason you discussed with Abel – why fasting may not be best for women. Finally! I pretend fasting is not a part of the primal/paleo package as I would not and could not ever consider it. Aside from the whole disordered eating aspect, I need several small meals per day or else I feel lousy. Was suprised no other woman had expressed any resistance to fasting either, but you have come forth Stefani, and I appreciate it.

  5. Denounce Nikoley! Many of us out here agree with Melissa McEwen’s words: YOU ARE A COWARD. Stabbing your fellow paleo women in the collective back serves WHAT higher purpose, exactly?

  6. Hi Stefani,

    I know that you would like to kiss up to everyone, but by doing so you are just giving out the image that you have zero credibility in the subject are trying to promote – female empowerment etc.

    Could you please take some time to really think about these things Evelyn asked you, and maybe make an informed decision on were you stand.

    Some further thoughts upon reflection, Stefani.

    You said:

    I have a lot of menopausal readers and comrades and I love them and think they are beautiful… and I think that if people engage my writing without nitpicking my website and my missteps (can we not be gentle and empathetic with each other? I feel a lot of anger coming from you and other women, (right?) which is fine, but I would so love to engage in positive, constructive and empathetic conversation).

    A woman who finds your website with it’s new format sees that “nit picked” quotation first and foremost and decides … should I explore further? I saw enough interesting and relatable at your former blog to read further. In all honesty what I see today is a load of rahh rah bunk. Platitudes, what an appropriate word Melissa used.

    The things for which and ways I have empathy for/with you are probably more than you might think … I also tend to think you’d not be happy with me for expressing them as it would involve relating some boneheaded things I did at your age. On the other hand, why is it that you seem to demand love, empathy and positive and constructive dialog from just the women? Why do you not demand it from Nikoley, or so long as he’s nice to you, it matters not how he treats others?

    I have zero desire to antagonize anyone.

    This is fine, I suppose, but that makes you the embodiment of the DISempowered woman. You aren’t averse to antagonism or you wouldn’t write in the fashion that you do. You had no problem saying you would like to kick Rosedale down a flight of stairs for a general comment that needs some interpretation to be considered sexist. It was not overtly so. Why didn’t you react that way to Nikoley for statements that are unequivocally not just sexist but ABUSIVE to other women?

    That is a rhetorical question, because clearly some attention was sent your way when Nikoley noticed you. Why is it that having a moderately unattractive asshat call you hot was so appealing to you that you forgot your standards? You did the guest post which was Nikoley’s way of using you to pretend to the world he’s not the man that he is. Even giving you the benefit of the doubt that you hadn’t yet figured this out, you surely should have by now.

    What is it that you’re afraid of if you rebuke Nikoley’s actions? Again, rhetorical question, because you fear being the subject of a trashfest and no longer considered “hot” by Nikoley. And that fear is very real, but inaction out of fear is how bullies win. What would it mean to you were he to pick on some imperfection of yours and go on an ethanol fueled rant about it? Do you think your website traffic would suffer? Your acceptance in the hot-girl clique in paleo circles would suffer? I can guarantee you that women such as myself would rally around you in support but perhaps we can’t guarantee you the site traffic and other opportunities being noticed by Nikoley would.

    I would hope the other women in the community would rally around you, but sadly I fear many won’t. Don’t take it personally, it’s just a business decision. The big power brokers in the community are all men, you don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side if you hope to become as popular and influential as they’ll ALLOW you to be. But you’re very pro paleo so you should do fine if you work with the right men and don’t rub them the wrong way. … to be cont.

    • @Emma,
      “. … to be cont.”
      Really? Do you have to? Do you think you are contributing anything useful with this baggage? Why don’t you just focus on your own website offer up something beneficial? If you are disappointed with Stefani, set a better example – maybe elsewhere.

  7. CarbSanity, can you please ask yourself this question: what good is any of this drama doing for me as a person?

    In all seriousness. While I understand your dismay surrounding R.N.’s comments about women, I must admit that I don’t understand your incessant desire to harp on negativity overall. If you don’t like Stefani, don’t read her fucking work. If you don’t like Richard, don’t read his either. If you decide to read their words, take them with a grain of salt. Everyone has different views, opinions, compassions, understandings and approaches to this whole thing called life. What are you fighting for? For everyone to hate Richard Nikoley? For people to be upset that Stefani has written a guest post for him? You won’t get everyone to agree with you no matter WHAT you preach, so why not try a more loving approach to this whole thing? Why not engage Stefani in a damn conversation? She’s a human. Why not engage Richard? He is too. Maybe you’ll see past words and into heart; that’s where most truth lies.

    Do you just want Nikoley to fizzle up and die? Well, that probably won’t happen. You want Stefani to be a woman crusader with you? Fuck, she already is. You want her to be a crusader BY denouncing Nikoley? I think she has more important issues to focus on like helping women understand their bodies and minds. Why don’t you try the same thing? How is the fact that she’s not on a hate-spreading crusade with you an indicator that she’s stabbing women in the back? Why don’t you chill out with spreading so much anger and instead spread what you want to see more of?

    Give it a shot. If it doesn’t work, keep spending your time in a tizzy getting angry over who is and isn’t speaking to/about/with whom. You’ll exhaust yourself eventually.

    When it comes down to it, there’s no use in fighting so hard and being so angry at people. If they insult you, spend less time around them (including reading their blogs) and if they offend you, take a damn breath and decide that you don’t want to act out in the same way (by writing frenetic and angry comments in those blogs).

    I think Stefani is doing a pretty kickass job helping women find a pretty kickass womanhood. I’m glad she’s spending her time focused on that and not drama within the Paleo community, to be honest.

  8. Your words cut through so many of the disordered ideas about womanhood, beauty, perfectionism and the ‘virtue of restriction’. Thank you, I have better clarity in my head and notice those thoughts that make me go, “wow, where did that come from…?”.

    The podcast with Abel was fantastic and I really appreciate your honesty. Abel was my first introduction to paleo eating podcasts and a gateway to a massive nutrition re-education process.

    About libido, since I’ve been eating paleo my sex drive has skyrocketed. I’ve been craving meat for years (wandering between vegan and vegetarian for 10 years) and not having regular periods or interest in dating for the past five. That’s turning around. Love seeing the evidence of focusing on listening to my body rather than imposing an idea on it. Thank you for your voice in this community!

  9. Hi I just wanted to say I caught your interview on abel james’ podcast and was captivated by your message. As a man, I was a little surprised at how much your discussion of body image, and lack of self-love reminded me of me.

    I felt like I was called out, I was one of those people claiming I was into paleo for health reasons, yet weighing myself daily and looking at my stomach constantly in the mirror, both front ways and side ways to evaluate how much lower ab fat I have. The podcast was kind of an awakening for me, and it has motivated me to shift focus towards my performance and not beat myself up if I have beer and pizza one night. Last night I even dedicated my workout to my body and it’s ability to run, jump, crawl, climb, etc and I set a PR on my back squat 🙂

    Thank you so much for doing what you do. Discovering your work has been a bit of a breakthrough for me.

    • Craig! That’s so hard, and I am so sorry, but I am also enormously grateful that I have been able to become a comrade in this with you. Please let me / us posted as your desires and needs arise. “Paleo for women” by no means means that I have no sympathy, advice, or community love for guys. You are of course more than welcome here.

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