Even with my recent body fat gains (more on which here and here), I am a small human being. I am 5’2– a height that means I can comfortably lay down in bath tubs or sleep completely stretched out on sofas, huzzah!–with a 34 inch rib cage (38 bust — a 34D), 28 inch waist, and around my butt at its fattest part I am, as of 1pm on January 25th, 38.5 inches round.
If you throw me in a red dress into the absurd and terrifying world of professional photography, this is what I look like (in one of the flattering photos, obviously. It’s hard to find one where my face isn’t scrunched up like a troll on acid.)
Here, I’ll give you a troll on acid just to round out the reality of what I look like:
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So anyway. I chose one of the more flattering photos for my body to make the important introductory point for this post of, ‘hey, I’m not out of shape.’ With more muscle than I know what to do with, clocking in at 130 pounds still lands me square in the “healthy” BMI range for my tiny 5’2 frame. I menstruate. I do not have the excess abdominal fat characteristic of pre-diabetes. By all accounts, I am a physically healthy and fit woman. My measurements also, by the way, give me a waist-to-hip ratio of .72, which is, as most of us know, in the neighborhood of the much puffed-up “universal attractive ratio” for people to find physically attractive across the globe (though this is now widely disputed–see the Wikipedia page for a simple explication). I wear small clothing comfortably. My pants are usually a size 3.
And you know what size lingerie I wear at Victoria’s Secret?
Large.
I am one of the smallest women I know, and I wear a large.
I do fit into medium panties, but they sometimes do that awful squeeze-your-hips-into-muffin-top thing. So I split the difference between mediums and larges (which sometimes are a big loose). Smalls are of course impossible.
Even when I was at my tiniest, when I measured 34-25-36, I could wear smalls but only when I dropped all water weight and super slimmed — mediums were still more comfortable for me. Here are two photos of me at my smallest:
All of which is to say that – I know exactly what Victoria’s Secret is doing. It is the same thing Abercrombie does. And Bebe, and just about every clothing store that markets itself as a higher end brand. It wants
1) Slim customers, which makes the brand appear more elite in our society
2) For you to feel bad about yourself, such that you use their products and their lingerie in a feeble, impermanent attempt to boost your self-esteem.
To which I can only say
1) screw this! I know our culture associates larger sizes with being unattractive, but my recent efforts to buck those norms has helped me, honestly, legitimately, see overweight bodies as just as attractive as stereotypically fit models. So giving me a bigger size does not make me feel worse.
IE, I consider my now jigglier body as hot as this one:
Why not, right?
2) screw this! How dare companies so liable for how we idealize and conceptualize beauty norms make beautiful people I love feel uncomfortable about the shape of their bodies. So many women are perfectly healthy, perfectly fit, and plain old larger so far as skeletons and muscles and fat go, and they simply cannot wear Victoria’s Secret lingerie. I was in the store the other week and it occurred to me that I have never seen a larger woman in the store. I mean – I wholly respect your choice to choose your clientele. And to list your sizes however you wish. I do.
I can only say, to that, that it is, frankly, wrong. Your sizes are not accurate, and I resent fully every effort you and every other brand and marketing agency makes to force me into a self-conscious, self-doubting mind-set.
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In the way of a sign off, check out Victoria’s Secret panties. Here is a size small Pink undergarment held up in front of my body and held over my face.
The panties stretch almost from one ear to the other.
I don’t know about you, but I am perfectly okay with the circumference of my hips being larger than the circumference of my head.
(This is not to “skinny shame.” I only took the photos to demonstrate just how small their clothing runs… and not, again, to denigrate bodies of any size. Your natural body is beautiful. This is only to shame how our culture associates slimness with goodness and alienates the perfectly lovely large, when really all can be good and sexy no matter their size. Read more about your natural sexiness in my bestseller Sexy by Nature)
Just saying.
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Update:
One of the commenters suggested that Victoria’s Secret lingerie runs particularly small in the Pink section of the store since those articles are designed with younger women and girls in mind (and she would know, since she is a designer). Fair! An excellent point. It might vary by collection. So I went and did a bit of digging around. I pulled out five more pair of small panties (clean ones-I never even wore them because they were too small) from my own drawer and laid them out next to each other. The blue ones on top have about 3/4 of an inch more material on each side, but I also wonder if that’s not because I managed to wear this one pair for several years and stretched them out. I also know there are several collections not represented here, so of course this is not a statistically, rigorously controlled study.
In any case, it appears as though there is a small (pun intended) range of measurements among the sizes in VS lingerie (as I imagine there would be), as all of the panties depicted above were sold as smalls. They are all more or less the same size as the Pinks, with Body by Victoria (the beige pair) and the purple ones being even smaller.
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Update #2:
My charge probably applies to a wide range of lingerie lines, as my mother has pointed out to me her difficulty with sizes at department stores. Victoria’s Secret happens to be one with which I am particularly familiar, and one that is particularly important in the eyes of girls and women all over the world.
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As a brief final note – the winner from last week’s giveaway will be announced tomorrow, and the new giveaway will also begin! Get pumped woooo.
And don’t forget to read my bestselling book Sexy By Nature, available on Amazon here.
Yep! I’m a large there, too – a medium most other places, and I think my booty measures 41 in around (squats and deadlifts, baby!) Screw this! 🙂
I am a former bra stylist fir Victorias Secret. The PINK line is aimed at the middle school/high school age. If you were to compare the sizing in Victoria’s secret with that of PINK you would a large difference in size.
Interesting! Thank you so much for sharing. (What a COOL JOB, by the way! I hope it was as fun as it sounds. 🙂 ) I own a lot of other VS stuff too and haven’t noticed much of a difference. And I think – well, there’s a lot of girls who cannot wear these sizes, too, no? And plenty of adults wear Pink. Anyway. Thank you. I’ll take out some other things and compare them. 🙂
Haha – I love the photo where you stretch panties in front of your face.
I prefer to wear bigger panties (medium sized/large) than finding them being uncomfortable (especially in public).
btw – you look stunning both in red dress photo and in troll-on-acid photo 🙂
My underwear brand (Elita) is the same. I am heavy right now (a bit bigger than you) and am wearing a size large. I used to wear a medium and will probably end up back there at some point when I figure some stuff out. I know Jockey sizes differently and I’d be a smaller size in it, but I find Jockey elastic tends to escape its bounds and rub my skin raw. The brand I wear is the most comfortable I’ve found for long distance walking, so I tolerate the sizing in exchange for being able to be more mobile in it. It’s the brand I’ve seen in dance shops, so I figure that’s why the sizing. I know many ballet dancers tend to be very small, partly because they need to keep their weight down, partly because they just need to be small – in both cases for the lifts (I don’t know about other types of dance), so I give them a pass on the sizing, but I really think Victoria’s Secret has no excuse. They’re just snobs. And they’re shrinking their market. (I’ve also heard their product isn’t that good, so what is it with them?)
I’ve always thought this about VS, but beyond that, VS is overpriced and uses shady manufacturing processes and facilities that do not care about the workers. Their garments are not well made, and the Pink stuff falls apart after a few wears. Not to mention they NEVER put black, white, or nude items on sale EVER (you can confirm this by asking any of their associates). This is a big conspiracy because they know these are the colors we need, not neon green with bright yellow polka dots. I would say stop shopping at VS all together. They don’t promote a good image of women, they don’t care about the workers about the workers that make the overpriced, low quality clothes, it’s all about the bottom line.
Great post! I am on the heavy side and have stopped buying lingerie at VS because they just don’t have a comfortable size for me. They have the cutest undies and most gorgeous lingerie, it makes me sad. And there are a lot of clothing retailers who price and size their clothing in the opposite way. In most shirts I wear a XL or L, but in some brands I wear a medium. Makes me feel “skinnier”, or at least it is supposed to.
Interesting! More comparison info: my hips/glutes at the largest point is 46″ and I buy mostly XL at Victoria Secret, but some cuts/fabric combos are fine in a L. That’s a rather broad (forgive the pun) difference in sizing scale. Interestingly enough, there are stores who seem to swing to the opposite side and indulge in what I call vanity sizing. I generally need a size 14 or 16 in pants, often requiring tailoring to fit the waist. Some store brands I can wear a 10 (!), which just makes shopping an exercise in wearing my skin out trying on 2-3 pairs of the same pant until I can find the right size. I greatly envy men’s clothing, with waist and inseam, done.
Thank you for this post! As a size 16 (and previously a size 20) going into VS with friends always infuriated me and made me feel a sense of shame for being a larger woman. I have never been able to wear their underwear or bras and can only stare longingly at the other lacey nothings on the store mannequins. Thankfully a number of brands are now carrying larger sized and beautiful lingerie, including Lane Bryant’s Cacique line, Hips and Curves, and Secrets in Lace. It is refreshing to have retailers that see the need and embrace women of any size as sexy and beautiful.
Oh my goodness. This is awesome! I have always felt something was wrong because I was a size 4 pants but small undewear were just too stinkin tight! Mediums and large always fit better!! Thanks! Glad I’m not the only one!
I am so glad you’re accepting your body and promoting body acceptance. It would be great to directly acknowledge the work of fat acceptance activists here in your paleo space. Especially considering that you do have a huge amount of thin privilege.
Do you want to write a guest post on it? I don’t know of much of any of the work done in the wider world myself, though Stacy Toth is a close friend of mine and she and I am in fact doing a “healthy at every size” talk together at paleo fx.
Oddly enough, I’d worn VS Pink underwear for years, until last year when I ordered a large in one of their other lines. I found that not only were they smaller, they were SO small that I gave them to my mother who wears a size 2. I actually own some of their nighties in a size medium and some in an XL, both fit me relatively the same, so I really have no idea what’s going on with their sizing.
TBH, one of my good friends is a huge VS Pink fan. They use a variety of factories in Asia where the sizes may come out different, one to the next. This is what I was told when we returned something that should have fit her which didn’t.
Love this!
I went in there one day looking for some cute workout gear, and at 5’7, 130 soaking wet, trying to SQUEEZE into a small pair of pants. FORGET THAT. It took me awhile to realize that thick thighs and a booty will never be Vicky S size small approved, but I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂
Their bra sizing is just bizarre too. I went to buy new bras – went in wearing a B cup, left wearing a D cup (at the measurement specialist’s recommendation). I’m not a D cup on my very best pre-period swollen boobed day! I guess it should have made me feel good, but it just frustrated me.
I don’t like Victoria’s Secret’s message, either. I don’t know if you’ve seen the articles out there recently about Adriana Lima’s pre-show diet, but I guess we can take heart that, just like a fitness competitor, she goes through temporary extreme measures to look like she does in that runway photo. Here’s a link to the article I found:
https://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/news-features/TMG8872623/Victorias-Secret-show-What-does-it-take-to-be-a-Victorias-Secret-Angel.html
I don’t know if I’m more okay with it because it’s basically what fitness competitors do before their show, or if it makes me less okay with all of it because both professions promote a very skewed view of the female body.
That’s funny – I just wrote my own blog about Lima’s diet 🙂 I know – it’s horrible. Egg white shakes for nine days!
I shopped with my beautiful, slim and athletic daughter who could not find a bra big enough at Victoria’s Secret. I am sorry that I shopped there for years! Now, we aggressively boycott both Abercrombie and VS. By aggressively, I mean we share this with our many friends and even strangers we meet who are shopping. Thank you, Stephanie, for writing about this!
There are much much better lingerie options out there than Victoria’s Secret! I go to SOL, a boutique in Denver, and I have never felt so comfortable in my own beautiful skin as I do in their store and the underwear/pajamas they sell! They carry a wide range of sizes and offer professional fittings and free alterations for the life of your product.
Check ’em out!: https://sollingerie.com/
I find this all strange. I have been wearing VS underwear for YEARS, (at the ripe age of 32 now) and have remained a size M through and through (thank God). My hips measure 38# at the widest part around, I’m 5’6 1/2″ and 136lbs and I wear from all collections, including PINK and have never had an issue with them fitting any smaller. Maybe it has to do with where our proportions lie???
I agree with you. I never had any issues with the VS undies either. I don’t understand all this outrage. It must have something to do about where our proportion lie.
As a 5’10” woman, I only fit in VS medium during my lowest weight of my eating disorder. I started buying VS in college with friends, and I don’t think that was a healthy option for me! I haven’t shopped there in years. I don’t think targeting teenagers is a good thing (speaking as someone who used to be a very low self-esteem, scared, and impressionable teenager).
I just never shopped at VS because it was super expensive, and their bras are the most uncomfortable things EVER. The underwires would come out very soon after I bought them and poke me all day long underneath my boobs. Not comfortable! You look beautiful in both of your photos, Stefani. I don’t see the troll face, but perhaps a bit of mischief – and I think mischief is sexy!
Came across this page while in debate about known ladies department stores and their sizing practices. I must say that you are an attractive woman with or without the confirmation of VS’s lingerie. To you and all the ladies posting “Keep embracing you, as well as all the women posting on your site.
Thank you so much for this! I usually wear a size 2 (xs) pant in women’s, a size 5 in juniors, and a size 5 fruit of the loom bikini underwear. I have a 26.5in waist and 35.5 in hips and I cannot wear a small or medium in the VS Pink underwear line. That means I wear the largest size panties they make which is hilarious considering many people tell me I’m too skinny. If I went by their sizing chart I should wear an XS but there is no way I could even get those on. I haven’t tried the regular VS line and frankly I am too fed up to even try!
Please, stop making such a big issue out of this. The best thing to do is to buy the size that fits you and is comfortable and cut off the label right away. That way you don’t have to think about that stigma of having bought a Large. Who cares about how the companies size their garments as long as they have your size? Banana Republic, for example, has beautiful and chic clothes too and their sizing is a little bit larger. Their size 2 fits like size 4 in other brands. Fruit of the Loom’s sizing is like that too. Why do you buy VS products if you feel like you don’t like their sizing? I am 5’8″ and 120 lb and I have VS undies in M as well as L. You are just making yourself feel bad for nothing.
I take a cloth tape measure with me when I go clothes shopping now because of “vanity sizing.”
I don’t shop there any more. When I was last drawn to some panties on a display table a VS, I searched and searched for a size Large. They only had Smalls and Mediums on display. If you wore a size Large, you had to ask for help and they had to get a Large out of a drawer somewhere. It was pretty humiliating. No thanks, VS. I shop elsewhere now.
I love this post!! Felt discouraged today getting size large undies in the Pink brand. I am not a large person, but getting something with the label “large” on it was confusing and discouraging. It helps to know that others also think their sizes run small and that they tailor to thin people.